Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Toes and Wings a Tap'n

I've been thinking of chicken music lately.  I came across this hilarious but catchy video...



If that isn't enough the last few nights and really for several years I've had this other catchy chicken song on my brain.  One elementary fun-night long ago....fade in fade out...   My brother four years and I eight were doing a cake walk.  Who doesn't love cake--right?!  When due to my luckiness he won!  Which cake do you want little boy; chocolate ohh I know the one with the jelly beans right right??!  Noooo he wanted a record not only a record but the small record.  (Records were donated by parents as prices to kiddos who could not have or did not want cakes.)  I'm sure due to the lack of donated records parents assumed only the doomed allergy ridden child of the class would choose this option.  I do remember my brother's decision being very quick and sure.  The small yellow record.  He was proud.  I was still thinking of jelly beans on cup cakes.  Oh well....  Upon getting home late and sugar laden he insisted we play his record on my mom's 6 ft "untouchable to children" stereo.  On one side was "A Cootie on my Bootie."  The other "The Cotton Pick'n Frick'n Chicken."  My mother's stern eye brow raised.  I was suddenly thrilled with my brother choice.  The shrill noise and rhythm that flowed through those speakers that night made me and my brother run around the living room like true chickens with our heads cut off only with no end in sight.  My mother quickly cut our party short saying something about our new record being dirty....raunchy?  She buried it in with the other small records in her cabinet.  I must listen to this since I shouldn't!  For years to come I would dig it out anytime she was outside or later when trusted to watch my brother even if for sheer minutes.  Both songs quickly became favorites.  I won't recite to you the "cootie" lyrics suffice to say that cootie as I later much much later realized meant STD on your *#@# gotten from the toilet seat at a dance club!    I still recall most of the words to both songs and would like to share the chicken one.  I've tried several times to find it on the interwebzs but it must have been a small obscure label....who would have thought?  My mother now claims ignorance to the real record's whereabouts.  Just typing the lyrics brings back memories of the two of us dancing around the living room in dance leotards (yes him too) acting like chickens!  I let you be the judge of it's "rudeness".  As a parent now I would like to know which one of my friend's parents donated this on the sly and laughed their *#@# off as my brother chose it......instead of a cake....with jelly beans!



Last night I came home and the barnyard was a mess
there was an unfamiliar feather likeness I detest
I said woman you've been run'n round that's very plain to see
cause those eggs that you've been laying don't look anything like me

That cotton pick'n frick'n chicken
he's back again
he's mess'n with my brooder house
and neck'n with my hen
I'm gonna pluck out all his feathers and put that fowl on ice
If he don't keep his fingers off my bird of paradise

Well I'm telling you that cock'll do anything he can
to break into my brooder house and make it with my hen
What literally made me think that he was up to no good was when he smiled at me and said
Hey boy she's finger lick'n good uhh huh


That cotton pick'n frick'n chicken
he's back again
he's mess'n with my brooder house
and neck'n with my hen
I'm gonna pluck out all his feathers and put that fowl on ice
If he don't keep his fingers off my bird of paradise


bawk baaa bawk
I like 'em baked, southern fried, by the dozen, on the fly
Bawk bawk bawk
Eat your heart out, son!

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